noyesnoyesnoyesnoise

I'd lost "yes," but i still had "no," so if someone asked me, "Are
you Thomas?" I would answer, "Not no," but then I lost "no," I went to
a tattoo parlor and had YES written onto the palm of my left hand, and
NO onto my right palm, what can i say, it hasn't made life wonderful,
it's made life possible, when I rub my hands against each other in the
middle of winter I am warming myself with the friction of YES and NO,
when I clap my hands I am showing my appreciation through the uniting
and parting of YES and NO, I signify "book" by peeling open my clapped
hands, every book, for me, is the balance of YES and NO, even this
one, my last one, especially this one. Does it break my heart, of
course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was
made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never
thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that
wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't
the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of
never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's so
painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to
what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and
think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but
never once into it. "I" was the last word I was able to speak aloud


foer